Deconstruction and the Christian Faith

A Pastoral Response from My Own Experience of Deconstruction

Do you know any person who has gone through a period of deconstruction when it comes to their Christian faith?*

I do. I know at least one person because I see this person every morning when I stand in front of the bathroom mirror. But more on that in a moment.

Within the subculture of Christianity in America, there’s a lot of talk about decon-struction in regards to the Christian faith. This talk is due to a growing number of people, especially those coming from a more conservative/evangelical expression of Christians, who are openly sharing their experiences of deconstruction. Some of these people have become the so-called “dones” who are renouncing their Christian faith altogether while others are just leaving behind their inherited conservative/evan-gelical understanding of Christianity, becoming the so-called “exvangelicals.”

Deconstruction, I suppose, is a response to a variety of circumstances and so the process of deconstruction where the process leads will likely vary too. As mentioned, some going through deconstruction will seemingly abandon faith altogether while others will just embrace a different set of convictions when it comes to matters of theological praxis. Whatever you might think about those who are deconstructing their faith, let me caution you against being so quick to judge.

As I mentioned earlier, I have gone through a process of deconstruction. It happened in response to the death of my son Kenny in the summer of 2002. Three weeks after Kenny was buried I began seminary, pursuing a Master of Divinity degree. In hindsight, that was unwise but how was I to know that since there isn’t any script writing for what a twenty-nine year old should do after the death of his child.

So I began seminary but the death of Kenny raised questions about God and faith that I didn’t have any answer for. If my faith was like a pane of glass, then it began to crack with the death of Kenny but eventually it shattered into thousands of pieces without any sense of how to pick up the pieces and put them back together. Looking back, I was lost in a sea of grief and pain that was filled with doubt—an existential crisis. I wasn’t sure if God cared or if he even had the ability to heal because, for whatever reason, my son was dead and I couldn’t make sense of that.

Almost twenty years since then, I still have a lot questions but I did find my faith again. What I left behind was the simplistic and over-confident (certitude) sectarian and fundamentalist understanding of the Christian faith that I inherited growing up in church.

For me, it actually turned out that seminary was a great place to lose my faith because I had people, whom God worked through, to help me rebuild the ruins of my faith. So not only am I still a Christian but I serve as a pastor. As a follower of Jesus, I’ve come to understand God as merciful and gracious, abounding in steadfast love (Ps 103:8). My faith and the way God has formed me though suffering shapes my interest in the conversation regarding deconstruction. So I want to offer a few more words as a pastor about deconstruction.

First, there’ss nothing inherently wrong with deconstruction. Anyone who ever questions something they have held to be true is deconstructing in a sense. The reasons some Christians go through a process of deconstruction vary but one thing should be clear, they have questions for which the answers they currently have are inadequate. Is asking questions wrong? Hardly!

That leads me to one other point I want to make. If you want to be of help to someone deconstructing their faith, listen. Don’t respond, just listen to understand. It’s clear that some of the people who have or are deconstructing their faith have experienced significant trauma in life. Some of this trauma has been caused by toxic churches where abusive pastors have created great harm through sexual abuse, racism, and mis-ogynism, where churches have not only woefully misread the Bible and wea-ponized it against people. So listen because any criticism will only amplify the trauma. Listen to understand, and then, in time, if you have earned the person’s trust, God might open space for you to help sort through questions in a way that leads to a healthy reconstruction of the Christian faith.

Also, if you’re reading this post and find the conversation about deconstruction to be frustrating and are frustrated with those who are deconstructing their faith, then pause. You’re frustration means you’re probably not listening. It’s also easy to wag a finger of judgment at someone when you have not walked in their shoes and probably don’t even know what they’ve gone through. You’re frustration will not help. So just press pause and take some time to listen. Trust me, if you can do that then you will be in a better place to be of constructive help to those who are deconstructing their faith.

I am the recipient of some people who graciously listened and understood. And I’m still here because they did. And I’m ever thankful for that.

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* This is a revised and expanded edition of a post I shared earlier this year on my blog that I used to write on.